Has anyone found caffeine to be a relaxant and alcohol to be a stimulant?
Caffeine is not a true stimulant. Rather, it enlarges blood vessels, and blocks neural receptors that try to accept the dopamine which would help the person relax. It works like a diode, and not a power supply. It is a valve, and not a pump. The increased blood flow to the brain may help a person feel more relaxed, due to increased oxygen to those tissues.
This is why you can drink caffeine, and still not be stimulated. Yet, if you increase your metabolism, either through stress, arousal, or physical activity, then caffeine will keep your metabolism elevated.
Alcohol is a depressent. It dulls pain receptors. It lowers inhibitions. It impairs judgement. If you feel less pain, and use poorer judgement, then you may do physically more difficult tasks. However, accuracy and dexterity will suffer. Alcohol may elevate mood, if you can forget your stress and sorrow.
Alcohol is a drug. As such, it will affect different people, in different ways. Some people get rowdy, becoming a clown or a brawler. Others sulk and gripe. Still others get drowsy, and want to sleep.